Down a number of days, one of several posts I did February 20, I have a LOLCAT test image that screwed up the formatting on this site. I decided to leave it as it was because it did make some sort of sense:
"Sex and erotica that
-long, long, long break due to formatting problems -
doesn't fit elsewhere. Ouch."
That picture is going to scroll off the main page in a few more posts and formatting should return to normal.
OK, you might think that looking at naked woman swimming around underwater, more like underwater dancing, to light jazz porn music would be sexy. Not especially, even with the oddly colored bright face decorations. It suppose it could be used as a DVD background scene decoration in a very liberal home or office.
You can stream trailers - oops not working, and find and look at some pictures. Did I mention this is a German film? It does look like they had some fun making it.
A husband wrote the following letter for his wife and left it on the dining room table: 'To My Dear Wife, You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you & I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel. Please don't be upset - I shall be home before midnight.'
When the man came home late that night, he found the following letter on the dining room table: 'My Dear Husband, I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. As you know, I am a math teacher at our local college. I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Marriot Hotel with Michael, one of my students, who is also on the tennis team. He is young, virile, and like your secretary, is 18 years old. As a successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge of Math, you will understand although it may appear that we are in the same situation, there is one mathematical difference: 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18.
A recent survey of sex therapists concluded that sex lasting 3 to 13 minutes is the optimal amount of time.
Really? For whom? Single women hoping to get home to their cats? To quote In the Pink Texas.
The survey did report, however, that sexual intercourse only lasting 1 to 2 minutes is “too short.” No shit, Sherlock.
On the other hand, after a very bad experience I have decided that a relationship needs occasional quickies. This would be a very, very long post I don't want to go into right now. It involves a resolution I made and kept for over two years which I really, really don't want to go into now.
The optimal time does not count foreplay, thank God, and the wacky researcher decided that only insertion counted.
I have a great urge to go down on someone and ask her at the end do you think this doesn't count?
The story mentioned that a 2005 study found median time for sexual intercourse was 7.3 minutes. I knew that. A popular book in the seventies had the title The Seven Minutes referring to an earlier study. I didn't know that Russ Meyer made it into a film. I just saw his Beyond the Valley of the Dolls which had lots of sex, some kinky. There are no stop watches in that movie but it does have some memorable phrases like "Yes I vow, 'ere this night does wane, you will drink the black sperm of my vengeance!"
Japan recently had its first-ever adult expo at the Makuhari Messe convention center near Tokyo. In a press release the organizers of the "Adult Treasure Expo" vowed to "draw the adult industry out of the darkness and secrecy which has traditionally surrounded it, to the place of honor and value which it deserves."
Over three days, about 150,000 adult industry workers and members of the public attended the event. For a Japanese trade expo, the event was surprisingly uncrowded, especially compared to other big events held at the venue. Organizers didn't get their target 200,000 visitors. The expo was about 60:40 industry and members of the public; and less than 1 percent overseas visitors. But what the sexpo lacked in size, it certainly made up with enthusiasm. The Expo featured ultrarealistic sex dolls, masturbating machines, a bukkake booth, hardcore Blu-Ray porn and a member of the miniskirt police.
Sure you have gone green. You have recycled, you don't eat meat, you have replaced all your light bulbs, you are even thinking about getting a Prius. But what about your sex life?
From bamboo panties to oxygen skin infusions they can fix you up. For Valentines Day they tried to persuade people that hearts were green and not red but my visible women models were having none of it.
For some reason the greenest thing of all, green glowing condoms, are not available on their site.
Smart and Dumb and Forgetful and Fun and Amusing. I am a poor editor although I seem to do that a lot. I have hair between my toes stolen from the top of my head. I am hard of hearing. I wonder how much more than half-crazy I am.
