Things Not To Say During Sex

Here is a guide of the good and the bad.

Puppetry of the Vagina

Ode to premature ejaculation

Jizz in my pants.

I have a story about this.... but not now.

The future of porn?

Not Safe For Work.

As Americans and Europeans grow older and more obese will more porn be like this?

Will it be more women fantasizing they want young studs to serve them but wind up serving them?

Is that better than current porn which frequently features dumb California blondes with new big fake tits who can be massaged and fornicate for almost an hour and never come?

This is another future for porn, Bible Black violent porn anime.

I'll Never Forget Old What's Her Name

Melinda Henneberger in Slate has a modern day tragic love and sex story of two elderly with diminished memory in a nursing home. The man's son, who certainly seems to have a stick stuck up his butt, is embarrassed and separates the lovers. The new Romeo and Juliet of the 21st century.

I like women

I like them when they are having fun. Feeling good. Enjoying themselves. I think most men are like me.

Then why is there so much bad porn out there when you can capture a beautiful woman looking even more beautiful having fun and feeling good? NSFW.

Dickhead - Kate Nash

The Almost Gay Porn Stars Drinking And Darts Society

In which British actors react to finding out that people are posting gay porn stories about characters they play.

See slash fiction.

Some video reaction to finding out you or your character is a porn star:

Formatting - Ouch!

Down a number of days, one of several posts I did February 20, I have a LOLCAT test image that screwed up the formatting on this site. I decided to leave it as it was because it did make some sort of sense:

"Sex
and
erotica
that

-long, long, long break due to formatting problems -

doesn't fit elsewhere. Ouch."

That picture is going to scroll off the main page in a few more posts and formatting should return to normal.

True Life

 

Brainier ladies have worse sex

BRAINY babes find it harder to have an orgasm – because they are too busy thinking, a study claims.

The German survey found that the more educated a woman was, the less likely it was that she would be satisfied by sex.

In the study 62 per cent of women who had completed their education said they often had problems achieving orgasm.

Only 38 per cent of women with a lower educational qualification said they had such problems.

The study conducted by a German lifestyle website surveyed over 2,000 women between the ages of 18 and 49. - UK Sun

OK, I want a real survey. I think brains are sexy, but do admit that some woman may not use them properly when in bed.

Best 2 second sex scene

No Shit Sherlock

Aquarium Nudes

OK, you might think that looking at naked woman swimming around underwater, more like underwater dancing, to light jazz porn music would be sexy. Not especially, even with the oddly colored bright face decorations. It suppose it could be used as a DVD background scene decoration in a very liberal home or office.

You can stream trailers - oops not working, and find and look at some pictures. Did I mention this is a German film? It does look like they had some fun making it.

Here is another location for the making of video.

I saw this for sale at Fry's and Amazon.

Another Joke from Amy

A husband wrote the following letter for his wife and left it on the dining room table: 'To My Dear Wife, You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you & I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel. Please don't be upset - I shall be home before midnight.'

When the man came home late that night, he found the following letter on the dining room table: 'My Dear Husband, I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. As you know, I am a math teacher at our local college. I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Marriot Hotel with Michael, one of my students, who is also on the tennis team. He is young, virile, and like your secretary, is 18 years old. As a successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge of Math, you will understand although it may appear that we are in the same situation, there is one mathematical difference: 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18.

The Internet is for Porn - Disney

So next time grab a stop watch

A recent survey of sex therapists concluded that sex lasting 3 to 13 minutes is the optimal amount of time.

Really? For whom? Single women hoping to get home to their cats? To quote In the Pink Texas.

The survey did report, however, that sexual intercourse only lasting 1 to 2 minutes is “too short.” No shit, Sherlock.

On the other hand, after a very bad experience I have decided that a relationship needs occasional quickies. This would be a very, very long post I don't want to go into right now. It involves a resolution I made and kept for over two years which I really, really don't want to go into now.

The optimal time does not count foreplay, thank God, and the wacky researcher decided that only insertion counted.

I have a great urge to go down on someone and ask her at the end do you think this doesn't count?

The story mentioned that a 2005 study found median time for sexual intercourse was 7.3 minutes. I knew that. A popular book in the seventies had the title The Seven Minutes referring to an earlier study. I didn't know that Russ Meyer made it into a film. I just saw his Beyond the Valley of the Dolls which had lots of sex, some kinky. There are no stop watches in that movie but it does have some memorable phrases like "Yes I vow, 'ere this night does wane, you will drink the black sperm of my vengeance!"

Just Porn

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

'I am going to make it so dry for you'

Proper Grammar

Getting HD resolution on YouTube

Put up with long load times and a wrong time length and just upload at higher resolutions.

Nudist Ocean Games 2007 - Ukraine Beach. Wait till download completes and hit replay.

Non- HD - This Bud's For You, Nudist Colony Activity Coordinator.

Japan's First Sex Expo

Wired:

Japan recently had its first-ever adult expo at the Makuhari Messe convention center near Tokyo. In a press release the organizers of the "Adult Treasure Expo" vowed to "draw the adult industry out of the darkness and secrecy which has traditionally surrounded it, to the place of honor and value which it deserves."

Over three days, about 150,000 adult industry workers and members of the public attended the event. For a Japanese trade expo, the event was surprisingly uncrowded, especially compared to other big events held at the venue. Organizers didn't get their target 200,000 visitors. The expo was about 60:40 industry and members of the public; and less than 1 percent overseas visitors. But what the sexpo lacked in size, it certainly made up with enthusiasm. The Expo featured ultrarealistic sex dolls, masturbating machines, a bukkake booth, hardcore Blu-Ray porn and a member of the miniskirt police.

Lost At Sea

A New Yorker cartoonist does the Hillary Campaign - video. Part of the naked campaign series without nudity. Not sure how it ended up in this blog.

Green Sex

Sure you have gone green. You have recycled, you don't eat meat, you have replaced all your light bulbs, you are even thinking about getting a Prius. But what about your sex life?

Some people can fix you up with that too.

Green Sex - Returning to the Garden of Eden.


From bamboo panties to oxygen skin infusions they can fix you up. For Valentines Day they tried to persuade people that hearts were green and not red but my visible women models were having none of it.


For some reason the greenest thing of all, green glowing condoms, are not available on their site.

Geek Girl Alix

Alix has a blog and writes for a magazine called Mr. Skin and is a porn star but not one of the big names. She is trying to make a go in the porn business but she is such a nice girl and isn't the right type I know it really won't totally work out. She is a writer and a pornographer trying to make it. Of course in this day and age part of making it is having a sexy webcam site.

Here she is interviewing Christy Canyon. Fleshbot wrote about the road to the interview.

Troma pictures, Surf Nazis Must Die and Toxic Avenger among others, made her a Tromette one month.

Here she is wearing the sexiest Star Trek uniform.

She does things on her blog like masturbate on train rides with a mini-vibrator or give a hand and blow job on another train ride.

A number of her pictures are on Flickr which is where I ran across her.

Orgasmatron

It's the new, old Buzz.


I really liked Jane Fonda in Barbarella, the movie, but I have no taste in movies or music.

One of the highlights - video.

Is the Orgasmatron better than the Boyfriend Pillow?

Which LolCat are you test?

Your Score: Ceiling Cat

37% Affectionate, 45% Excitable, 44% Hungry

You are a master of stealth. They never see you coming. But you always see them coming. HEY-O!

Link: The Which Lolcat Are You? Test written by GumOtaku on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

View my profile - elemming

Dirty Old Man Association International

Send me this free page of tasteful pictures of undressed ladies as a 10-year anniversary celebration. They are recommended for you to get over your outdated nudity taboos.

Yes, they have statement of age, model release, etc. They are a fairly inexpensive way to reward yourself with beauty but also have some free sections of their site.

Tango: The Future of Sex:2012

Also The Etiquette of Oral Sex.

Women: Can you orgasm from intercourse alone?

Facts first: 80 percent of women cannot orgasm from intercourse alone, says Ian Kerner, PhD, author of She Comes First. Still, “many women are socially wired to expect to orgasm via penetration,” he says....

“I was never able to get off without manual reinforcement-until I started sleeping with a guy I called ‘four-minute man,’” she laughs. “When
he was on top, I would have an orgasm in four minutes flat.” Lauren got busy trying to figure out why: “He wasn’t someone I was in love with or even totally attracted to,” she says. Her surprising discovery? “I finally determined it was because he had a bit of a Buddha belly. The extra pressure was assisting me in the orgasm!”

In praise of beer gut!

Portrait of an Open Marriage. Lots of comments.

Laughing Porn

"Hey, we're going to make a European porn video with another couple. Are you in?"

"Only if I can enjoy myself and giggle all the way through."

"Ummm... Go for it."

Totally Not Safe For Work. Work can suck, BTW.

Videos

Brandi Belle and her friends are playing around. X-rated. There are a lot, a whole lot, of these short Brandi Belle movies. Just lucky ducky porn.

Me? I am more like this cartoon.

New Erotic Links

FHM's the Kama Sutra. 28 positions all illustrated by women in lingerie.

Blue Blood's Barely Evil. Take the tour of wicked sexy girls.

Erotic PBM. Wild fun erotic party girls.

Had I linked to Fleshbot here before? Erotica covered by Gawker Media.

Another new part of Gawker is i09 which covers sci-fi for adults. Does have a short video from Cherry 2000

Oh wow, I noticed it has one of my favorite online geek girls - Annalee Newitz as the editor. No wonder it is geeky, smart, sexy, SF, and hot.

Saving the best in erotica for last - Viviane's Sex Carnival. A blog of the best in sex and erotica. Many links.